Ready for Change? Why It All Starts with Mindfulness

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Hey Reader,

I had butterflies as I walked through the door.

The previous meeting I had with the student and their team was tense. Her family, social worker, and advocate were all involved. And they grilled me like a hot dog with questions. They wanted the best for her and were determined to see results. I survived that meeting, but the situation was far from over. We would need to reconvene.

But this time it would be on their turf.

And things would be different.

They celebrated her birthday. And all I could feel was the love in that room as Mexican food delicacies like enchilidas and rice and beans covered plates. Instead of being caught in my head, I was in the moment, I was present and I will never forget the warmth that overwhelmed me at that moment (no, it was not from too much rice and beans).

This was a pivotal moment. Our relationship only strengthened after this. Even after a few years, she still visits regularly.

And it all started with a little mindfulness.

Nature of Mindfulness

What image comes to mind when you think of mindfulness?

If you google mindfulness you’ll see pictures of a lotus flower, a rising sunset, and someone seated with their hands stretched to the sky. We associate mindfulness with ultimate peace. And you’ll hear many people touting its benefits, but it can still be confused with the wrong things.

A few misconceptions include:

• It's about escaping reality.
• It’s about “getting it all together.”
• It’s about being passive or non-emotional.
• It’s all about relaxation (although your experience may include that).

A mindfulness practice doesn't aim to solve all problems at once.

Mindfulness is about becoming more.

It aims to reach potential. It places ownership on you. And when you take ownership you're putting yourself in control and are not subject to someone else’s desires.

When you practice mindfulness you become more:

• Aware.
• Intentional.
• Present and alive in the moment you have.
• Participatory in your own life and experiences.

Without starting here, you’ll be blind to your choices each moment.

Making Sense of the Moment

Life is imperfect.

It's a balance between chaos and order. A duel between good and evil. It's being lost and found.

It’s recognition that suffering and pain exist.

And we’re driven to avoid this pain.

The problem lies in believing that everything must be a certain way. This is a trap. People mistakenly believe that only positive thoughts should be present during mindfulness.

And this makes mindfulness both easy and hard.

Easy because no equipment is needed-just bring yourself. Hard in the sense that there are so many things competing for your attention. Like what’s happening on social media or on the news.

Mindfulness brings to light what's in front of you.

Making it easier to make sense of situations as they are presented.

Mindfulness as a Springboard

Automatic thoughts interfere with accurate reality perception.

Your judgment about events influences your actions. You may take someone not responding to your greeting as a slight when they might not have seen you, had their headphones in, or were working on a problem in their heads. These sorts of judgments can get us stuck in a negative feedback loop.

Ultimately, this affects our feelings about ourselves and our abilities.

Mindfulness is the springboard to other key skills like acceptance and willingness that help us combat negative thinking traps.

Mindfulness is the hot water you run on a lid when you’re having trouble opening it. You do it to loosen things up. You do it because it prepares you to respond tactfully and take the right action. It puts you in control of your mind, rather than letting your mind control you.

And the coolest thing is that it can be practiced anywhere, subtly too:

• On a walk.
• In your car.
• While eating.

You don't have to sit in a lotus position, close your eyes, or chant for example. While you can practice formal meditation techniques (and should consider them), mindfulness skills in everyday life can go a long way in supporting your emotional regulation skills.

Think about mindfulness as a way to let go of preconceived notions about yourself, others, and reality.

And as the gateway to improvement.

Now that you understand the nature of mindfulness, let's look at what we should do when practicing mindfulness and how we should do it.

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See you next Saturday,

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Marcus (yes, yes. Another pun.) W.

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P.S.

Let me know what's your experience with mindfulness? Is it something you practice and find valuable? Or is it something you roll your third eye at?

P.P.S

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