The story you're telling yourself


I think about her all the time.

It's only been a couple of weeks, but her words continue to rattle around my skull. She said what I hear in some version from almost every coach I talk to. We discussed what's going on inside her business. What's going well, what's not. And then she unloaded this:

"I feel like I've been building all this empire in writing, but not being able to feel confident...in my mind it's like okay, you need to be able to talk about it first in order to get clients."

My instant take? Not enough.

Not in the sense of doing more. But in the sense of feeling like what you're doing counts. This goes deeper than marketing. It touches on the beliefs we hold and the actions we conform to to keep ourselves safe.

Imagine an iceberg for a second.

What you see poking out of the water is the event. Factually, here's what she was saying: "my content isn't driving inbound." But underneath that are the labels, aka 'stories', we hold onto such as "I don't belong." "Who am I kidding?" "I'm not good enough." And in this case, "I don't trust myself."

The event is the thing you see. The story is the thing that runs it.

Reader, waiting for perfection is like trying to get married without dating anyone. You can't know if you're a match without talking to people. Same thing happens to coaches who keep building without reaching out. You build and build, but never have the conversations with people who could tell you if what you've got resolves a problem they have.

You're one conversation away from clarity. Every time.

Here's why: instead of subscribing to the stories you tell yourself, you're getting the facts. Even if it's in the form of their interpretation. Thoughts such as "I don't belong" become "Oh. This person doesn't fully understand the problem I solve." The first thought keeps you stuck. The second gives you a course of action.

Create the content. Cultivate the connections. But content alone doesn't build relationships. Conversations do.

For most of us, what's stuck in our heads needs to be shed.

What story is keeping you stuck?

P.S.

If talking about your services makes you feel like you're bothering someone, that's the story talking. Daniel Pink said it plainly: To Sell Is Human. You're not pushing. You're offering.

As always, thanks for reading.

Until next time,

- Marcus W.

Between Sessions

For performance coaches building practices between sessions. Build a practice on your own terms by turning expertise into client conversations.

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